Where have I been?

Let's just get right to the elephant in the room. No, I'm not pregnant. I didn't take a long blogging break for any particular reason. After we moved up to NY, I started my new job (did I mention I got hired full time after 3 weeks of working per diem), we got settled into the new house, and life just got really busy. We had a lot of fun times with friends and family, we tackled a few home improvement projects, and AJ took the bar. He played golf for a few weeks and then decided to start working at the firm a couple weeks ahead of his original post Labor Day start date. Both of us working (my job is a 12 month position so I work over the summer) plus trying to maintain a house is a lot more work than we anticipated. Not in a bad way, but in a "it keeps us busy" kind of way.

Nothing particularly noteworthy happened this summer, but it was a lot of fun. It definitely will be remembered. I had a "last hurrah mentality" and drank/ate my way through the summer. I'm not going to lie, it was pretty awesome. We've fallen into a great group of friends here and have re-connected with some high school and college friends that are still in the area. This is such a relief because I was really worried that we would be lonely and that we wouldn't have any friends.

Now that summer is over and school is back in session, I plan to cut back on drinking, reform my eating habits, and exercise regularly so that we can start trying to have a baby again. We got all our infertility/recurrent miscarriage test results back in July and nothing was abnormal, so I just need to work on my mental health (I am very easily stressed and my not-so-new job is pretty stressful) and really pray that the third time's the charm.

That's pretty much it for now. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

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Hi

Hi,

I miss blogging. I'm going to try and make a comeback (for the 3735 time).

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As you can see, I have to blog from my iPhone, because my MacBook has kicked the can. We'll see how it goes.....

Back in NY

A lot has happened since I last stopped by this little blog of mine. I returned to Maryland for a couple weeks, we went to the Kenny and ZBB concert, we celebrated my birthday last weekend, we had a consultation with the fertility doctor, I was offered job #2, we had blood work done for our fertility workup, I signed papers with the district for the per diem job, I decided to gamble and did not accept job #2, I left my job in MD, I finally moved back to NY, and I started working per diem. Despite all that craziness, life is starting to settle down. I am so happy to be back in New York, living in our new home, and working in a great district. I feel so much more relaxed already!

Job #1

Well, I didn't get the first job. The assistant superintendent called me this morning to let me know. She said I interviewed really well and that the team was impressed, but that the applicant pool was very strong and they decided to go with a different candidate. I still feel like poo, but her kind words did make me feel a bit better. I'm sure she said that to everyone, but I do feel like the interviews went well, so there really must have been someone a little better than me. Oh well.

Although I didn't get the full time position, she did ask me to do per diem work starting next week. This is actually a pretty sweet deal, because most of the positions in other districts in the area do not start until after Labor Day, so I can work as a substitute psych*ologist all summer and can continue to look for a full time position for the fall. Also, since it is a sub position, I can decline work if I want, which means we can officially plan a post-bar trip for August. We were hoping we would be able to spend a week or two in Pinehurst, and it looks like that will happen after all. When one door closes another one opens, right? I'm just trying to take it all in stride and be happy that I will soon be home with my husband and puppy!

Moving Weekend (And Before and After) Recap

Sometimes life is so crazy there is no time for blogging. It is sad, because the crazy times are usually the ones when I have the most to write about. Somehow that always falls by the wayside.

A brief recap is all I can muster right now, so here is what I have been up to for the last couple weeks....

I flew to NY on the 17th and had an interview on the 18th. I flew back after the interview, finished out the work week, and spent our last weekend in DC hanging with friends. On Friday night we had margaritas with Miss Mindless, the speech therapist at my school, and their husbands. On Saturday we had dinner in Annapolis with our close group of friends. On Sunday we visited a few wineries in Virginia.

Last week was spent packing up our house and getting our life in DC wrapped up. My mom drove down that Monday and was a huge help in getting our house packed. She and I then drove up to NY on Thursday night because I had an interview at 8:15 on Friday morning. That interview was a call back for the district I interviewed with the previous week. It actually ended up being two interviews; one with an administrative committee and one with the superintendent. I then drove about an hour away to another interview for a position in a different district. To say I was tired when I returned home is an understatement. AJ drove up to NY in our car that afternoon and arrived in NY at dinner time. Our moving truck arrived a few hours later. We spent the weekend unpacking and organizing our house. It's not completely done, but we've made a good dent in the boxes and the house is starting to look like our home. Oh, and did I mention that AJ started studying for the bar last week? Needless to say, life has been CRAZY.

Today I drove down to Maryland and am staying with our friends for the remainder of the school year. I'm so lucky that I have great friends that will let me crash for three weeks. I would not survive if I had to stay in a hotel or sublet an apartment for a month. I obviously wish I was back at home with my husband and dog, but being with friends is better than being alone right now.

AJ is coming down on Friday and we are going to the Kenny Chesney and Zac Brown Band concert on Saturday. Next weekend is my birthday and then the weekend after that I will be home for good and hopefully will be able to take a moment and just relax!

Stickers

When I test a student, especially a young one, I always reward them with stickers. This afternoon I tested a kindergartener and gave him one of my huge badge stickers that says "I did my best!" because he worked really hard for over an hour. That is like eternity for a 6 year old. When I brought him back to his classroom and he walked through the door, there was a collective "wooooooah" from his classmates when they saw his sticker. He then told me he was never taking the sticker off. It was so fricken cute.







Wouldn't it be awesome if stickers still made us feel that special? Ahhh, to be a kid again.

Quick Update

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The interview went really well today. I felt like I answered all the questions well and that I was able to tie my answers into my experience. I definitely gave real life examples/answers instead of book answers. The chair of the committee told me that they are planning to do call back interviews next week. She also asked about my availability next week and mentioned that they wanted to be accommodating since I'm still living in DC. I think that's a good sign! She said there are two or three other candidates they'd like to call back though, so I'm still nervous.

I have many other things I want to write about, but I am so exhausted and am going to hop into bed as soon as I eat dinner. Interviewing AND traveling tires this girl out!


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Let's take a ride on my emotional roller coaster, shall we?

We closed on our house on Friday, May 6th. Getting the keys and stepping foot in our house was very exciting. We spent the weekend completing projects and made a lot of progress on the house. I cannot WAIT to move in for good.


I attended Mother's Day brunch last Sunday, and I am really glad that I did. It was difficult at the time, but the few pangs I felt were totally worth it. I was able to spend time with my grandmother, which ended up being very important, because she passed away unexpectedly on Wednesday at the age of 77. After brunch she (and the rest of my family) came over to our new house and we gave her the grand tour. She was so happy for us and called all seven of her sisters afterward. They all told me about her calls at her wake on Friday. Her death was very shocking and I miss her so much already. She was the most wonderful, caring lady and a joy to everyone that knew her. We did not take any pictures at Mother's Day brunch and I am so upset about that. I can't remember the last time our picture was taken. Here she is with my grandfather, father, and brother on my wedding day and one of AJ and me with all of my grandparents:


After attending my grandmother's funeral on Saturday, AJ and I drove back to DC so that we could attend his law school graduation on Sunday. It was very difficult to leave NY and switch emotional gears, but we did, and we enjoyed the day as best we could. I am so proud of my husband and all that he has accomplished in the last three years.

While we were in NY, I received phone calls for two interviews in two different school districts in NY. I am flying back to NY tomorrow night for my first interview on Wednesday morning. I am really hoping to land this job. It is in the town next to where we will be living and in the same town as AJ's law firm. The other interview is next Friday, also known as moving day in this household. We haven't quite figured out how we are going to fanangle that, but somehow we will make it work. Best case scenario...I land the first job and don't even need to interview in the other district. Fingers and toes crossed!

So that is my life in a nutshell. You understand why I haven't posted in a while now, right?

Thoughts About Mother's Day

Yesterday my mom asked me if we'd like to go to brunch at the country club on Sunday since we'll still be in town. I said yes, not realizing that it is the Mother's Day brunch. (I've been a tad aloof lately. Perhaps it's my brain's way of protecting me...) Later this evening, once I figured out that it was the Mother's Day brunch, I started freaking out. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it right now. I've been to this brunch many times and I know what it entails. At the end of the meal, the servers bring flowers to all of the mothers at the table. It's a nice gesture...until you desperately want the flowers and you know you aren't getting any. Needless to say, I'm afraid I'm going to start crying and/or need to excuse myself.

As I sat thinking about the brunch all night, I tried analyzing what I'm so upset about. Yes, I'm grieving my losses, but I'm also upset that I'm not yet a mother when I know that I was supposed to be one sometime this week.

This brings up an interesting point that I saw mentioned on the Miscarriage Memories facebook page. Do you consider yourself a mother if you have miscarried? The majority of people that responded to the post said yes, it doesn't matter that your baby (or babies) died before birth, you're a mother if you have miscarried. My immediate thought is no, I'm not a mother. However, when I spoke of my first miscarriage (I haven't had much of a chance to speak of my second miscarriage or both) I often used the phrase "my baby". Don't you have to be a mother to have a baby? My babies aren't here in my arms, but they did at one time exist.

I'm not about to tell our server at the club that I am a mother, but maybe Mother's Day wouldn't be so hard for me if I thought of myself as a mother.

It's Almost Closing Day

There is nothing like a good cry. Or the blog/twitter world. Your comments, tweets, emails, and texts have lifted me up like you wouldn't believe. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don't know why this is happening to us, but I have to believe there is a plan for our family and someday it will all make sense.

Let's talk about something more exciting, shall we? We are tentatively scheduled to close on Friday afternoon. We are just waiting for the bank to choose a location for the closing. Ahh! I can't believe it is finally here. I am excited and nervous and still a little apprehensive (even though I know deep down that we will fill those rooms someday). I just want to sign the papers and have the keys in my hand!

The weather on Saturday is supposed to be beautiful, so we are planning to start tackling our to-do list right away. Here are the things on our to-do list for the weekend:

Paint the green wall in the living room
Paint the pink bedroom
Paint the wood trim and window frame in the living room
Power wash the siding
Spray paint the shutters
Paint the front door

We still have not decided on paint colors for the living room wall or pink bedroom, but we have some ideas so I will share them later today or tomorrow. I would love some input!

As for the door, does anyone have suggestions on tackling this project? Types of paint, best process, etc.? I am not sure what kind of door it is (wood or metal), so I probably need to figure that out before I decide what paint to use.