I chose to write about my loss because I wanted sympathy. Maybe that makes me selfish, but sympathy is what I truly needed at that point. What I got was so much more than that. I can't even begin to express my gratefulness for all the love and support I received from you all. This has been the most difficult week of my life, and each and every comment, tweet, email, text, and phone call has helped me to grieve the loss of my first pregnancy and slowly pushed me toward the path to acceptance. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Today was supposed to be the day that I announced my pregnancy to all my blog and twitter friends. Instead I am here writing with a heavy heart and tears streaming down my face because I found out this morning that my pregnancy is no longer viable.
I have so much going through my head right now, that I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with feelings. Devastation, sadness, anger, disappointment, and embarrassment are the first ones that come to mind. I'm also confused because we had two positive ultrasounds. One at 7 weeks and one at 8 weeks. Warning: the rest of this paragraph is TMI. I had my first ultrasound at 7 weeks because I was spotting and cramping and we ended up in the ER. I didn't get to see the sonogram at 7 weeks, but we were told that the baby was measuring on track and that there was a strong heartbeat. I stopped spotting a couple days later and when I had an ultrasound at my OB's office a week later, again, everything looked great. I started spotting on and off the next week and it continued for the rest of the pregnancy. Up until this weekend, the spotting had all been brown. As my doctor repeatedly told me, brown blood is old blood, and I shouldn't worry too much. On Saturday, I started spotting more heavily and the blood had a reddish tint. Still, I tried not to freak out. This morning, however, I knew something was wrong. I passed a small clot and there were gobs of dark red blood. I cried the entire time I was in the shower, but there was still a small part of me that thought the baby might be okay. After all, I had been spotting before both of my previous ultrasounds and everything was fine. We decided to go to my appointment this morning, which was in the perinatal center, not my OB's office, because I would be getting an ultrasound for the first trimester screening. As soon as the ultrasound began, I knew it was bad news. The fetus only measured 7 weeks, 6 days and there was no visible heartbeat. The rest of the morning is a blur. The director of the perinatal center came into the room to deliver the bad news because the on call doctor was dealing with an emergency in another part of the hospital. We were both already in tears at that point, but I guess she had to officially go over the results of the ultrasound. Then the doctor came in and told us the same thing. She also noted that the gestational sac was way too large for 11 weeks. I am not really sure what that means and at this point, I can't remember what she told me. The director then walked us upstairs to my OB's office and we were seen by one of the other OBs since mine wasn't there today. The doctor walked us through our options and did a quick internal exam to check my cervix. It was still closed, so she reported that the miscarriage probably wouldn't happen on its own at this time. I opted for the medicine that will induce the miscarriage instead of a D&C. I know it will be emotionally and physically painful, but I think it is the best option for me. We then left the hospital and headed home.
I don't really know where to go from here. We have already told our family and friends the sad news. Everyone has been loving and supportive, but there is only so much anyone can say. I guess I will pack up my pregnancy books, maternity clothes, and the baby stuff I bought. I will put it all in the back of my closet. Hopefully it will come out again soon, but I sure don't need to see any of it right now.
We've made bread twice since receiving the breadmaker. Both times the process was super easy and the bread was delicious. I used this Rosemary bread recipe for the ingredients and mixing instructions and left the rest to the breadmaker.
I added the ingredients to the bin:
And added the last cup of flour while it was mixing:
All mixed and kneaded:
3 hours later:
Using the knife:
We have only used the standard 3 hour bread cycle, but as the product name reveals, there is a setting to make bread in 58 minutes. Pretty convenient for a week night bread making session. My only complaint about the breadmaker is that it is kind of noisy when mixing and kneading. However, I have never used a breadmaker before and they all might be noisy during this part of the process.
Also of note, the breadmaker shipped right away and was at my door in 3 days. Not too shabby. The knife, however, was shipped separately, and didn't arrive until the first week of October. I'm not sure why there was such a delay, but I guess since the knife comes free with the breadmaker purchase, I shouldn't complain too much. Especially since it is such a great knife! We didn't have the knife the first time we made bread, and it wasn't a pretty sight.
If you are in the market for a breadmaker, I definitely recommend this one! Thanks, CSN!
Disclaimer: I was provided with one $40 gift certificate to use toward any product available through CSN sores so that I could review the product. The balance of the bill was paid by me. All opinions expressed are my own.
I've had a pretty crappy day. Things were not going my way at work and when I got home this afternoon I had to deal with a washing machine repair man. Boo. Once he left and promised that the washing machine will work this time AND won't spew water all over our new hardwoods again, I settled into the couch to relax and watch some TV.
Luckily things got much better once I found Clueless on HBO. I mean, is there a better movie in the history of teen movies?? I don't think so.
Oh, Clueless. I didn't see it in theaters (I was 10 when it came out) and instead stumbled upon the movie when it was playing on HBO back when I was in 7th grade. (Thank you HBO for picking up what would become one of my favorite movies.) I would scan the little magazine (remember that thing? Oh the days before digital TV!) to find out when it would be playing and attempted to watch it every. single. time. it was on. I somehow did this without my parents knowing that I was watching a PG-13 movie without their approval. I finally got up the nerve and begged my mom to buy the movie for me once it was off HBO. I distinctly remember the Christmas I received the VHS and my mortification when I watched it with my mother at the tender age of 12. Yes, it led to awkward conversations, but i guess I brought it upon myself and can't complain too much. After that day, I kept the tape in my bedroom and only watched it with my girlfriends. Funny how the "embarrassing parts" pale in comparison to some of the stuff on TV and in movies today. But that is neither here nor there. Let's talk about my full on obsession with this movie. You already got a taste, right?
In 8th grade, my two BFFs (one is still my BFF!) and I printed the script and spent an entire sleepover watching and pausing the movie so that we could memorize every line. Do you remember what printers were like in 1998? It took us HOURS to print the hundreds of pages of script. We would replay parts of the movie until we had the next part of the script and could move forward. Why we actually needed the script, I don't remember. It's not like we couldn't have memorized the lines without it (holy triple negative). At the time we thought it was super important to have the script and obviously that it made us cool. We spent the next year quoting the movie non-stop. I guess at some point it became uncool to say "as if" and we reeled in the crazy, but now that Clueless is back as a cult classic, I fondly recall the crash course we took that night.
Needless to say I can still recite the movie to this day. And although many things went over my head back when I watched it in 1998 and there may be slightly different reasons that I love the movie now as compared to then, I still think Clueless is one of the best movies ever. And it will always brighten even the worst of days. Thanks again HBO!
A few weeks ago a woman emailed me asking if I would like to try one of the restaurants participating in Rockville Restaurant Week. I of course said yes, so yesterday AJ and I ventured out to the 'burbs for our date night. We decided to try Oro Pomodoro, an Italian restaurant situated in the middle of Rockville Town Square.
Since the weather was so perfect in DC this weekend, when we arrived at Oro, we decided to sit outside. We had a view of everything going on in the square, including a group of guys that were breakdancing on the stage, the millions of kids playing in the rock garden, and the huge group of angsty teens that I'm guessing meet up in the square every weekend. Okay, maybe there weren't a million kids and all the teens weren't angsty, but there were definitely a lot of both and the atmosphere was very different than the one AJ and I are used to in DC. If you are cool with that scene, sit outside and enjoy the weather, otherwise you should take your meal inside. We didn't mind the action at all, but it might not be the right fit for some people.
Onto the food! We were served warm bread with olive oil after ordering and it was so good that we almost ate the whole basket. If we hadn't ordered an appetizer, we definitely would have eaten it all. The appetizer, Bruschette Pomodoro e Mozzarella (grilled rustic bread served with fresh diced tomato, mozzarella, garlic, oregano and basil), was very good (we ate it so fast I forgot to snap a picture), but if we had known we were getting delicious bread for free, we probably would have skipped the Bruschette.
For our entrees we decided to order a pizza and a half order of pasta to share. We went with the Polpettina (fresh tomato sauce, mozzarella, meatballs, parmesan cheese) and Rigatoni alla Sorrentina (rigatoni with fresh mozzarella and basil in a light tomato sauce). So good. In fact, the pizza dough and the free bread appeared to be one and the same (and we all now know how much I loved that bread) so the pizza was a big hit. I definitely recommend both the pizza and the pasta.
The best part? We ordered lemonade, a glass of wine, an appetizer, a pizza, and a half order of pasta and our bill was less than $50 including tip. Yummy, reasonably priced food? You can't beat that. Oro Pomodoro FTW!
If you live in or near Rockville you should definitely check out Restaurant Week. It runs October 4-10, 2010 and features prix-fixe menus at 31 Rockville restaurants. In its’ second year, restaurants are offering either $8 Lunch/$15 Dinner OR $10 Lunch/$25 Dinner pricing options.
Disclaimer: I was provided with one $25 gift certificate to use toward our meal so that we could provide our opinion before Rockville Restaurant week. The balance of the bill was paid by me. All opinions expressed are my own.