I'm fine. Really!

A few people have asked me how I am doing, so I figured I'd share with everyone.

Last month was hard. TTC + hormones + fear of failure + plus fear of success and then failure = me being crazy and dramatic

However, once I found out I wasn't pregnant (well maybe the next day), I felt like my old self again. The last couple days have been fun. We've been out with friends every night this week and AJ and I have reverted back to our normal selves. We are having fun, being silly and enjoying each other's company. That doesn't mean I don't want a baby anymore, or that I am not sad at times, but just that the whole mood in our house has changed.

I'm really wondering if the hormones are a big part of why I was feeling so nuts. I wanted to cry almost every day (and did most days....including in my boss's office) and just felt like crap in general. I am supposed to take them three times a day a few days after I ovulate, which means I am constantly thinking about getting pregnant/having a baby during that two week wait. I am wondering if I waited until the end of the two weeks to begin taking them, if it would help my sanity. I am supposed to take them to help me stay pregnant if I am pregnant, but would skipping the first two weeks really make that huge of a difference? (Perhaps even less than two weeks, since we all know I will probably start testing sooner than test day...and if I test positive I will obviously take them.) If I can't sustain a pregnancy during weeks 3 and 4, then I am guessing there is bigger issue than something that can be treated with progesterone. Thoughts?

I am also supposed to take baby aspirin once a day, which I will continue to do, since that is much less intrusive and is supposed to help with implantation.

I guess I should talk to my doctor about all of this.

Anyway, that is how I am feeling these days!

P.S. I appologize that all I blog about recently is getting pregnant and everything that surrounds it, but hey....that's my life right now. Oh and I hope you like TMI!

You can't always bat 1000

That's what my husband said to me this morning. I wanted to smack him.

I got pregnant last August on our first try. I got pregnant on accident in April because we were careless. (We weren't supposed to be trying before the bar, and even though we knew I was ovulating, we just didn't care. I thought... What the hell? What's the worst that could happen? Ohhh naive self. You were so fun.)

I didn't think I would get pregnant either time. But I did. And neither pregnancy ended well. So, now I am a basket case.

This was the first month we started trying again and today was the official test day. Even though I knew this morning's test would probably be negative since every test I took over the last four days was negative (what? you don't do that too?), I was crushed when I saw it.

But, AJ is right...you can't always bat 1000.