Sunday, October 18, 2009


AJ and I went on an impromptu date at Matchbox the other night. We ordered a pizza to share, and before I ate my first slice, I sprinkled a little Parmesan cheese on top.

Why is this significant? Before I met AJ, I never ever ever ever did this. As I was sprinkling away, AJ asked if I had told my dad that I now like Parmesan cheese and I replied that I hadn't.

We then began talking about how both of us hide certain things from our family, for fear that they will be upset that we have both changed as a result of our relationship. Does that make sense?

One of the simple things that my dad and I have always bonded over is our dislike of grated Parmesan cheese. One example....One night I was eating at my favorite Italian restaurant with my family. The man sitting at the table next to us was putting Parmesan on his pasta for almost 2 straight minutes. He literally would not stop putting cheese on his food. The smell was so strong and my dad and I were laughing so hard at how this guy was being ridiculous. It is our thing.

And now, I feel bad telling him that AJ has introduced me to the wonderfulness that is Parmesan cheese. A part of me realizes this is silly, but still...I can't help but feel a little guilty that I am not the same daughter I was a few years ago. This is obviously a really trivial example, but it got me thinking about marriage and how you change as a result.

Have you experienced this?


  1. I think you are destined to change and become influenced by the people you spend the most time with. For instance, I use certain brands ie Dove soap because that's what my family always used. My husbands ways have definitely rubbed off on me. For instance, the new car I want has his influence on it and one of my friends remarked that it wasn't me. Well, it is now haha :).

  2. change isn't a bad thing hun...people are always changing.
    maybe get your dad into loving parmesan cheese ; )
    it's the best!! love that stuff!!

  3. I have a feeling your Dad will understand - I'm sure he changed some things when he married your mom. Love Matchbox!! :)

    --DC Prep

  4. Um, you saw my Twitter pictures of the Phillies cupcakes I made.

    See, here's the thing. I was, obviously, born into a Yankees family. I am a DIEHARD Steelers and Penguins fan, but I never cared about the Pirates because my grandfather played for the Yankees. And my father and I always liked the Expos as our National League team, but we hid it from his father... we just casually followed them because their AA farm team was in my home team, and we loved to go to the game, and then it was fun to watch the players we saw play in the majors. But then I married a huge Philadelphia sports fan... who acknowledged that I was never, ever going to like the Eagles or the Flyers, but maybe, just maybe, would I not mind the Phillies in the National League since the Expos/now Nationals are miserable anway? And since I'm going to move to Philly and live there for a long time I should at least have one Philly team I don't LOATHE. And even my father likes the Phillies now... after all, I grew up 90 minutes outside of Philadelphia -- the fact that I like Pittsburgh teams over Philly is kind of a fluke. But over the past 7 years I have come to actually LIKE the Phillies, but there is no way we can tell my grandfather this. And WHAT IF it comes down to Yankees-Phillies in the World Series? It was one thing have NL/AL teams when no one ever thought the Phillies would actually MAKE it to the World Series but now... ack! My grandfather might disown me!

    (Fortunately for us, he hates the recent management of the Yankees, so even his loyalty to the Yankees has been waning...)

  5. well i've stopped talking poorly of wisconsin every chance i get - so maybe that's one thing that's changed about me. other than that...i can't really think of any although i'm sure there are tons. they just become a part of your life & you don't even realize it!

  6. I never put parm cheese on my pizza, then TBF came along and he introduced me to it. Now I can't go without it!! Don't be afraid, it'd be impossible for your significant other not to influence you somehow. I'm sure he changed a bit when your mom came into the picture :)

  7. I eat sooo many more things now that I am married to Richie. It's inevitable :)

  8. Yes I've definitely experienced this. It is sometimes a difficult negotiation when you try to figure out who two are you as a family in comparison to where you both came from in your own families growing up. Me and my hubby have talked about this too and we feel that we're finally at a place where we're comfortable being a happy mix between both of our families. It is difficult though because you do change, and sometimes your families don't expect that to happen.

  9. I had such a similar thought the other day - my husband informed me that it's not necessary to keep maple syrup or peanut butter in the refrigerator. I used to HATE it when I would use those things growing up beauase really, they are just not as good cold. I was so happy when I learned this from him!

    Also, I sort-of-kind-of root for the Cowboys when they are NOT playing the Giants and when they are nowhere near the Giants' ranking. My father would be sad (although he probably knows if he's watching from above - so there you have it!). :)

  10. I love this post because I saw a lot of my relationships in it!