Thursday, November 5, 2009

Rant

I'd like to throw a question out to the universe...

Why don't people understand that I am married?

I know I don't look all that old, but I wear my engagement and wedding rings EVERY DAY and always sign my emails with Mrs. Last Name AND introduce myself as Mrs. Last Name.

Now, I know it is the culture of a lot of schools to only call people Miss Last Name (whether you are married or not) because it is easier for young kids. I am fine with being called Miss...that isn't the issue for me. But I get really annoyed when people ask me about my boyfriend. Even worse is when they act SO surprised when I mention my husband. And then people usually say something asinine that makes me even more annoyed.

Really?? You never noticed the rings? You didn't see the Mrs. Last Name signs and visual cues all over my office?

This is definitely a pet peeve.

19 comments:

  1. Wait, you're married? When did this happen?

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  2. That would get on my nerves as well. It is right up there with people asking me at work if I am 19. Sure, sure then I must be a genius because I have my Bachelors Degree and Paralegal Certificate and am now in Grad School. Seriously!!

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  3. I agree - it's one thing for the kids to call you Miss, but its not Ok for people to act shocked. Is it so far fetched? I think you should stick up for youself!

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  4. Definitely a pet peeve of mine, as well. It doesn't happen so often anymore but I taught JK/SK for 3 months right after we got married and I could NOT get it through the parents head that I was married!

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  5. i blame it on the feminists. in the recent past there was such a push to recognize and respect unwed women that now people (especially men) are afraid to use the title "Mrs.". i've been dealing with contractors in and out of our house for a month now, all of whom have already talked with my husband many, many times. they KNOW we're married, they'll even say "...your husband..." but yet when they call me from the other room it's "Miss..."
    um, WTF?! seriously? no one uses the proper titles because they're so afraid to accidentally call someone Mrs. and have that woman be appauled and shoot back with some bs about how she doesn't belong to someone else and she's still Miss maindename.
    ugh, sorry, this has frustrated me lately too, can you tell?

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  6. ok - your fiesty ranting just made me laugh out loud in the sky club & i got a few looks. :)

    i guess i never thought about this. the ONLY person who calls me mrs. last name is my MIL because she thinks its cute that we have the same name now (me, not so much). i have never ever introduced myself as mrs. last name since i got married. even when i fill out forms that let you pick, i ALWAYS pick ms. instead of mrs. thinking about that makes me feel really weird! what's my deal? ahh!

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  7. I've noticed that too, people are surprised that I'm married. I wonder if it's because we are young? Sometimes I think that the whole mid20s thing throws people off because they anticipate we would be in collge or doing some ladder-climbing as opposed to having a position of authority? And assume a lot as a result of that? I have no idea.

    It is obnoxious. Almost as obnoxious as people putting a hyphen between maiden and married last names. This double last name, no hyphen thing is obvi more difficult than brain surgery and rocket science.

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  8. Ack. While I can't relate (not married), I can relate to the assumptions. People always assume I am less than I am because of my age. It's just one of those things you just gotta deal with I suppose.

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  9. I agree that it is very annoying to have the grown-ups confused as to your marital status, especially given the very obvious indicators that you are married (i.e. your rings and "Mrs." status). However, I'm surprised at some of the comments here. Deciding whether to hyphenate your last name or to go by Ms. is a very personal choice, and everyone's entitled to make it once they get married. I kept my last name and go the Ms. route. Depending on the situation, if someone refers to me as Mrs. HisLastName, I will let it slide, but if I do correct, I'll do it very politely. It's such a personal decision and certainly not a basis for judging anyone else's very personal choice.

    Jen.

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  10. sorry to hear that hun, put them in their place ;) let them know you are married, happily married at that!! :)

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  11. Ugh that is annoying. I feel like that will probably happen to me too. When ordering a drink at dinner within the past 6 mos a waitress actually said to me, omg you totally look like you're 18! I was really thrown off.

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  12. That's pretty funny, and I completely understand but I've kind of gotten to the point where most people I see on a regular basis know I'm married. They thought it was weird at first that I'm married, but they all came around. I won't ever ask you about your boyfriend :)

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  13. I work in a school too, and I default to Ms. because it's the safest when I'm dealing with lots of different teachers that I don't know very well. However, I ALWAYS sign my name Miss, it's on my door and name tag, I never wear any rings at all, and I get called Mrs. every single day by students and adults alike. I think it's just one of those things...

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  14. I totally agree. Q and I were VERY annoyed at my 34 week PREGNANCY apt., where I still wore my rings, and had the SAME last name and she asked if my boyfriend wanted to hear the heartbeat. Really? I'm pregnant and he's with me, please assume the best.

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  15. Wait, are you serious? WTH is the matter with people? That could get really old, really fast. Maybe you could start wearing a tee shirt that says MRS on it? Or TAKEN? Every day?

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  16. Wow, I'm sorry people do that, how strange! People can be so dumb!

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  17. Definitely a pet peeve of mine as well. Yes I am young, but that shouldn't matter. I agree it is okay for kids to call you Miss, but not adults and not to act shocked when you tell them your married.

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  18. Love this post because I yell at my kids all the time when they don't use the proper salutation for their teacher, i.e. Mrs. or Miss. Everyone is Ms. to them. Now my oldest daughter is a teacher, and I wonder if she'll care when she is married if they call her Ms. too! Glad you care!!! It's refreshing!

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